Wednesday, December 17, 2008

To space boot, with love

Almost 8 weeks ago, I fractured my ankle at roller derby practice. For the last 6 of those 8 weeks, I've had an extremely stylish space boot strapped to my right leg. Since my time left in the boot is waning, I think I should write a letter to it, to recap some of the good times.

Dear space boot,

Hey, pal. I've made some amazing memories while inside you (hehe, ew), but it is time to say goodbye. I wanted to let you know how much I've appreciated our time together, so I've come up with a list of things I'll miss about you.

-I'm going to miss having to choose between skinny jeans that fit under you, or wide leg jeans that fit over you. Who needs lame middle ground boot cut jeans anyway? Certainly not me and my several, several pairs of boot cut jeans.
-I'm going to miss not being able to wear cute heels because you make my steps uneven and choppy.
-I'm going to miss your awesome air pump. You did things for the air pump that Nike couldn't dream about. Also, when I let the air out of you after a long day, you made the air around me smell plastic-y. Mmmm, carcinogenic.
-I'll miss the way you expose my toes. Having to wear black socks everyday has been a challenge, but it gave me an excuse to use my unpaired single socks that have lost their mates in the laundry. Also, my exposed toes have made me a stronger person, since I've essentially been wearing a giant velcro sandal in inclement November/December weather.
-I'm going to miss how, no matter how many times I rotate which left shoe I'm wearing, all of my left shoes are wearing out.
-I'm going to miss my scronny right calf. It's so cute and mushy--range of motion is so overatted.
-I'll miss the weird looks you made me get in public. "Is that girl wearing one single ugg boot? Oh, no, it's just one of those zany medical boots."
-I'm going to miss the way everyone at work hears me coming down the hall from a hundred yards away...*step, KLOMP, step, KLOMP, step, KLOMP...*
-I'll miss having to risk a ticket everytime I get behind the wheel, because you're too frusterating to take on and off every time I get in the car (but are illegal to drive in). You're a dirty, dirty temptress and I love it!
-Lastly, I'll miss how when you get wet, you make my steps sound like the squeaky hull of a pirate ship.

Until we meet again (when I dig you out of the closet in a few months and try to sell you on ebay, because if you buy these things from the manufacturer they are $200!! I bet I could get $50),

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